My Local Masjid

This week I will initiate an infiltration into my local mosque. My goals are to learn Arabic, to gauge Muslim strength and sentiment in my community, and to report any dangerous behaviors to the relevant law enforcement authorities.

Of course, I will provide updates at every step of the way.


Phase 1: Attend the mosque for Arabic lessons through its community center.

Phase 2: Under the guise of being an Islamo-curious left-wing intellectual I will try to gain "understanding" of Islam through any contacts at the mosque.

Phase 3: Attend a Friday prayer service if possible.

Phase 4: Convert.


I don't believe in Allah or any of the tenets of Islam so I wouldn't consider my conversion meaningful. I understand the death penalty for apostasy. I also understand that the reward of increasing my Arabic proficiency as well as a greater internal understanding of Islam outweighs the minuscule risk of my beheading.

I am thankfully in the freest country on the planet so I have at my disposal the tools and skills to adequately defend myself if the need arose.

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The Masjid (as I will refer to it) has piqued my interest for some time now. It is located a few blocks from my university and place of business. It stands at the edge of a largely student occupied neighborhood which is imperceptibly changing in its demographics. A close acquaintance and teaching associate rents a house in the neighborhood and tells me that the Masjid is buying up as many residential properties as it can on the surrounding streets. Many of the congregation are moving within walking distance to form a tightly knit community.

His interactions with the congregation have been humorous and tense. He claims that the Masjid owns houses nearby that are full of recent immigrants, many of which he believes to be in the country illegally. Those that he talked to in his normal neighborhood interactions were at times polite and at times nearly psychotic.

One Iranian immigrant stands out in his mind. This man (we can call him Reza) claims to have been raped along with his three friends while still in Iran. By George W. Bush. Personally.

Reza and other men sheltered by the Masjid are part of my interest, as well as the source of the Masjid's funding. Is this mosque an active and integrated part of my city's culture? Or is it withdrawing from the society around it due to foreign influence? I've read so much about the radicalization (a word I don't like) of mosques through their imams. I want to know if this is the case locally.

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Phase 5: Do the Hajj!